Reminiscence Monologue

...

Hi, it's been a long time.

Life is getting harder.
Actually...
There was a time that I feel lonely.

If I say that I am fine, I will be a big liar right?
I am not fine, at all.
How can I? You left me, suddenly.

There was a night that I feel so cold and alone.
There was a day that I am tired about people who always ask about my life.
They asked, asked again and asked again.
There was a day that I cried in the silence.
There was a day, like that.

I don't say that I don't grateful.
But. Just. Because.

Can I play back the time?
When you was by my side.
Many times you bought me a plastic full of iced tea, delicious food, my favorite things.
Do you remember? When I was around 4 or 5, I was afraid to go up with the escalator, and you said if I can go up alone then you will buy me an ice cone. Then I did, of course because I was craving with that mcdonald ice cone. (Mcd counter right beside the escalator).
Do you remember? When I didn't want to participate a singing competition, but you said you will give me a teletubbies lala doll if I am brave to go to the stage, no matter I win or not. Then I did. I lost, but you bought me that yellow lala doll.
Do you remember? There was a night that I really wanna cry because my lecture said, if next week I still go wrong then I should graduate next semester. And you said that It is okay to graduate later as far as I've tried my best. Then I did that difficult final project only for ten weeks, and I graduated well.

Nowadays, I also did well. Exactly after the government say to stay at home, I never step outside for once.
I have done well, right?
Thank you for always spare your precious time for me, we always go somewhere to travel on my holiday, so at the times like this I have many beautiful memories to remember.

I miss a person who always makes me  his priority.
I miss a person who always appreciates my processes, my struggles, my tears.
I miss a person who always respects my decisions.
I miss someone like that.

It is sad, this year I can't wish you a long healthy life.

Goodbye again, dad.

Yours truly,

melancholy daughter.